Matt Dillon and Brian Burke: Like Two Peas in a Pod

Do you remember the movie Crash a few years back? Not the Cronenberg one, but the one by Paul Haggis? Damn fine movie. Near the beginning, we meet Matt Dillon's character, a cop in the LAPD, and we learn that he is not a guy to like. He's an abrasive, unfriendly, racist, sexually-assaulting-Terrence-Howard's-wife kind of a guy. His actions, and his prejudices, are inexcusable.

Later on in the movie, after we've gotten our fill of Brendan Fraser and Ludacris, we learn that Dillon's character actually has some depth to him, and he's not just the monster we're supposed to paint him as based on the scenes earlier on. While his actions on the job are despicable, he spends his time off-duty caring for his dad, who is very ill, and whose business has been very hurt over the years (or at least it has in Dillon's eyes) by affirmative action.

The point was, I think, that even though it's easy to condemn people for the stupid, ignorant things they say and do, we need to remember that there's usually more than meets the eye. I haven't seen Revenge of the Fallen, but I assume you come away with a similar lesson from that movie.

Which brings me to Brian Burke...

He's a moron, first of all. But I do have to give him a glove-tap for his comments to John Buccigross about his son (via Mirtle). It's a bit of a sad statement that having someone stand by and support their child can make you dramatically reexamine your own view of them, but I'm honestly not sure if that's more a reflection on how I see Brian Burke, or on the out-of-step attitudes we can usually find in professional sports.

Either way, Burke is slowly shifting in my mind from Matt Dillon at the beginning of Crash to Matt Dillon near the end of Crash. Next step: Matt Dillon in There's Something About Mary. As much as I still dislike the man, I do truly believe he could rock a fine leisure suit.

Rexall Begins

Through our various connections in the film and television industry, Slow Fresh Oil is occasionally able to get our hands on inside information and other pieces of Hollywood gossip. It's pretty rare that these insider tips have any relevance at all to what we do, but when it does, we're always glad to pass it along to the Oilogosphere. So with that in mind, below we have an excerpt from a Darryl Katz biopic that was apparently abandoned in the early stages of production after its financing was pulled. Slow Fresh Oil is not sure of the movie's current status or if there are any plans to resume filming at any point in the future.

Stately Katz Manor

EXT. KATZ MANOR - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

Katz Manor sits perched upon its riverbank vantage, looking down on the river below. Moonlight shines onto dark clouds in the sky.

FADE IN:
INT. STUDY - NIGHT

The study is adorned with fine furniture and expensive-looking artifacts. Among them is a wooden bust that appears to be of Mark Messier. Near the entrance is an intercom system. A window along one wall looks out into the night. A fireplace burns along the adjacent wall. DARRYL is seated in a modern leather chair, reading the newspaper. He is dressed in slacks and shirt, with a tie draped over the back of the chair. Next to him, on a side table, is a conspicuous red phone, placed under a circular glass case.

Darryl peers over the top of his newspaper towards the window. Noticing something, he stands up and we follow him over to the window.

INSERT - EXT. CLOUDS

Outside, against the clouds, is a large, oil-drop shaped spotlight being shone from somewhere in the city's distance.

BACK TO SCENE

The phone RINGS.

Darryl quickly strides over to the phone, removes the glass case, and picks up the receiver.

DARRYL

Commissioner Bettman. What can I do for you this evening?
(pause)
Yeah, I just saw it. What seems to be the trouble this time? Is it that Penguin again? I thought that we had already dealt with him and that he would be staying retired for good this time.
(pause)
Who then? Kings? Sabers? Lighting? Whoever it is, just say the word and I'll take care of them for you.
(pause)
Look, Bettman, just come out with it.
(pause)
You mean...that two faced lawyer-turned-evil? My god. Alright, I'm on it. You just make sure that if things get ugly, there aren't any innocent fans around to get hurt. Goodbye.

Darryl hangs up the phone. He walks over to the intercom, and presses a button. On the other end, we hear the squeaky voice of KEVIN.

KEVIN
What is it, Darryl?

DARRYL
Kevin, get up. We've got work to do. It's Burke. He's out of control.

KEVIN
Holy overreaction, Darryl. Why should we care about what that guy says or thinks anyways?

DARRYL
Because, Kevin, it's not up to us to decide when we're needed. Because there are hockey fans out there in trouble. Because he's the GM Toronto deserves, but not the one it needs right now. Either you're in or you're out. I'm leaving in five minutes. Tonight, I think we'll take the plane.

Darryl releases the intercom button and walks over to the wooden bust. He lifts its head to reveal a large red button. He presses the button, and the fireplace slides away to reveal a pair of fireman's poles. Darryl walks over, grabs the pole on the right, and slides out of the scene.

FADE OUT