Pre-Season Haikus

Devan Dubnyk and
Jeff Drouin-Deslauriers:
Thirteen feet. No hands?

Horcoff to Comrie:
"Remember when we turned pro?
You were paid more then."

Memo to players:
"DO NOT say anything nice
About Rexall Place."

Steve Tambellini
Jerked awake at night screaming
"Khabibulin's Groin!"

"For the last time, Zack,
Viacheslav and Slava
Are the same person."

Mike Comrie's contract:
No payments 'til Twenty-Twelve
And no money down.

"Ees mighty eagle
Painted on mask, holding masks.
Get it? Ees a joke."

"You can't go in there.
Coach Quinn is having a nap.
Renny says you're cut."

Six Terrible Jokes About Saskatchewan

Originally uploaded by dullhunk

The Oilers announced their pre-season schedule today, and nestled among the 5 other don't-matter-except-that-player-x-proved-me-right-that-he's-horrible/great games is an outing on Sunday, September 21 in beautiful Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I wouldn't count on much work getting done down at the old wheat pool on Monday (1).

When Garth Snow answered 'Saskatoon, Saskatchewan' to Charles Wang's question about this year's pre-season neutral location, he was immediately fired under suspition of casting incantations (2), and promptly replaced as GM by Dwayne Roloson. Roli quickly cleared things up by drawing Charles a map of the province... Which was easy... Because it's a big trapazoid (3).

The location was chosen because, quote: "We're concerned that Tavares may try to run off at some point during training camp, and this way we'll be able to see him running for days (4)."

So dust off your good overalls (5) and break out the pils (6), 'cause NHL hockey is headed to Saskatchewan.